i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
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Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
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i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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