I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
