you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.