Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
