Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
