Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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