What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY