try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic