It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?