But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.