There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Everyone says I win the strip club
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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