I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
