why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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