I'm going to jail i love you
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
