I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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