i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize