What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
