i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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