just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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