Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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