We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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