He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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