As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Boobs speak an international language.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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