OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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