Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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