Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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