we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
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