and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she woke up with a sticky ear
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
