I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
