Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
