I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
