she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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