We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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