drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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