I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter