I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
