She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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