Swine flu. Run for my life!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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