sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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