She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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