you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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