But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
