Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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