He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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