It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
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im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
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I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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