They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
