She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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