I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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