I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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