I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
