wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
