as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
