He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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