Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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(772): View more from Florida

At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?

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(620): View more from Kansas

we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.

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(214): View more from Texas

so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons

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(360): View more from Washington

Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.

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