I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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