I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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