youre lurking in front of me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
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I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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