Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The feeling are messing with the penis
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
