Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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