We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
And then he peed in my hair
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