come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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